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Simpsons Quotes

Inspirational Quotes


"You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears."
Short and funny quote by, Geri Jewell.


"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
Short and funny quote by, Mitch Hedberg.


"I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife."
Short and funny quote by, Ilie Nastase.


"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film."
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.


"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.


"Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
Short and funny quote by, Will Rogers.


"Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect."
Short and funny quote by, Benny Hill.


"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.


"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.


"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.


"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."
Short and funny quote by, Lyndon B. Johnson.


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