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Simpsons Quotes

Inspirational Quotes


"In weight lifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you."
Short funny quotes by, Jack Handey.


"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
Short funny quotes by, Franklin P. Jones.


"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific."
Short funny quotes by, Jane Wagner.


"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
Short funny quotes by, Erica Jong.


"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
Short funny quotes by, Lily Tomlin.


"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
Short funny quotes by, Robert A. Heinlein.


"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."
Short funny quotes by, David Letterman.


"If you can't fix it with duck tape you have'nt used enough."
Short funny quotes by, Anonymous.


"All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."
Short funny quotes by, Anonymous.


"Constipated People Don't Give A crap."
Short funny quotes by, Anonymous.


"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough."
Short funny quotes by, Les Dawson.


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