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Simpsons Quotes

Inspirational Quotes


"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.


"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
Short and funny quote by, Rich Cook.


"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation."
Short and funny quote by, Henry Kissinger.


"y all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man."
Short and funny quote by, Socrates.


"Hermits have no peer pressure."
Short and funny quote by, Steven Wright.


"You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."
- Short and funny quote by, Pearl Williams.


"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
Short and funny quote by, Dave.


"Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire."
Short and funny quote by, Dan Zevin.


"Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ...."
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.


"Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants."
Short and funny quote by, Geraldo Rivera.


"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
Short and funny quote by, Hillary Clinton (commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents).

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