Short Funny Quotes Home
Top Ten Funniest Quotes
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Simpsons Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?"
Lily Tomlin
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
Winston Churchill
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
John Lennon
" A line is a dot that went for a walk."
Paul Klee
"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie
"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
Mark Twain
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue."
David Brent
"Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed."
Winston Churchill
"Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female."
Desmond Morris
"English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"
Homer Simpson
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