Short Funny Quotes Home
Top Ten Funniest Quotes
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Simpsons Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
George Bernard Shaw
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner
"As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
Buddy Hackett
"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
Robert Benchley
"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."
P. J. O'Rourke
"I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me."
Warren Buffett
"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."
Rodney Dangerfield
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
Fred Allen
"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
Groucho Marx
"I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way."
Carl Sandburg
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Winston Churchill
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans
John Lennon
A line is a dot that went for a walk.
Paul Klee
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