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Simpsons Quotes

Inspirational Quotes


"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."
Short funny quotes by, Bill Cosby


"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
Short funny quotes by, Oprah Winfrey


"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Short funny quotes by, Groucho Marx


"I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
Short and funny quotes, Rodney Dangerfield


"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Short and funny quotes, Oscar Wilde.


"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."
Short and funny quotes, Rodney Dangerfield.


"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."
Short funny quotes, Albert Einstein.


"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic."
Short funny quotes, Dan Rather.


"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
Short funny quotes, Unknown.


"Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"
Short Funny Quote by, Rita Rudner.


"It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody."
Short Funny Quote by, Richard M. Nixon.


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