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Simpsons Quotes

Inspirational Quotes


"Never stand between a dog and the hydrant."
Short Funny Quote by, John Peers.


"Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it."
Short and funny quote by, Lyndon B. Johnson


"You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try."
Short and funny quote by, Homer J. Simpson.


"Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel."
An American adage about antagonizing newspaper editors


"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."
Short funny quotes by, Bill Cosbey.


"Always drink upstream from the herd."
Short funny quotes by, Anonymous.


"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two..."
Short funny quotes by, Sir Norman Wisdom.


"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"
Short and funny quote by, Homer J Simpson.


"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Short and funny quote by, Steven Wright.


"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."
Short and funny quote by, Homer J Simpson.


"An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be"
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.


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